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nuraichaHello!
Today I was going to post only the next entry of the music meme, but I've been having these thoughts nagging me for ages and I've decided to write about it here, because two reasons: a) people isn't as harsh as it can be on Tumblr and b) I prefer the format and the less potential number of readers.
Therefore, I am going to talk about fandom. After months of thought, I've arrived to the conclusion that fandom life both fills and sucks your life out of you. Is this good? Probably not. Do we care? Absolutely not. Should we care? It depends on the case.
I've heard lots of times people saying 'fandom saved my life' and it has always slightly surprised me. Could a fandom, a passion you share with people, save your life? It seems so, if we listen to these people. In my case, I've learned I can live without fandom, but not without a passion. Living without things that passionate me, that would be impossible. I even think I might die if that was the case.
However, I think fandom can be replaced, even if it depends on the kind of person you are. In my case, I've lived without fandom all my life and I have been very happy, although I admit I've had my moments of needing someone to share my passions with, and whenever I found that person, it was simply magnificient.
When I entered the fandom life, around 2012, I considered it one of the best things of my life. Meeting people who shared my same interests, talking with people of all across the world, making new friendships, feeling completely part of something. Nevertheless, nowadays I'm starting to dislike all my fandoms. Don't get me wrong, I still love my passions with all my heart, but I've been feeling detached of the fandom life lately.
The question is, why? I've been searching all my life for people who would understand me, and now that I've found them, I just want to isolate myself from them.
Well, the answer is: fandom can be a very cruel and tough world, as you can see everyday on Tumblr or Twitter. It's a world full of wanks, ship wars, cliques and closed minded people. How can that be if us, the people who are fans of something in a passionate way (nearly obsessive sometimes), usually tend to be people who are social introverts and unconventional, at least in some ways? Why members of a fandom start throwing daggers at each other?
Honestly, I can't understand the reason, but this is one of the main reasons I'm not into the Sherlock or Doctor Who fandom anymore. You can find people there who are a real treasure, with whom you can share your opinions in a totally relaxed way, but also beasts whose brain is a one-way road. And I can't stand that. I've made whovian friends on Twitter I don't even talk anymore about Doctor Who with them because they're so focused in their opinions until a point it becomes painful to me. I consider myself a very neutral and open minded person, who can stand everyone's point and be respectful about that, but I can't stand if they make hurtful comments on something I love: you can not believe in Doctor/Master, but don't treat me as I am verging on madness for thinking the Master is the first love of the Doctor because you're hurting me that way.
Another fandom whom I have trouble with, even if they don't hurt me in such a deep way (really, people, don't joke with Doctor/Master when you're with me), is the Muse fandom (now is when all my friends here unfriend me, isn't it?). Really, people there is so closed minded! I've seen people on Twitter dismissing other Muse fans for liking certain songs and not others, and I've been receiving hurtful comments (even if I doubt the people who said them thought they were hurting me on purpose, just expressing their surprise) about my condition as a Muse fan ('why don't you like this song', 'why they aren't your favourite band', etc.). No, people, I don't consider myself a muser (here I should explain my name's theory but it's too long) and they aren't my favourite band and I don't know every detail of their life and miracles. They're just another band, very good and very important for me (I owe them lot of things, as friendships and inspiration writing-wise), but just another band I listen to. Everyone is different, don't ever forget that, and I am not less of you for not having one to 100000 concerts or starting listening to them in June.
A good deal of times I've been thinking of quiting, stop following musers on Twitter and leaving Muse Slash because I've suffered real mental pain since I'm in this dandom. Most of it it's all my fault, me fighting against my own demons and facing aspects of myself I haven't encountered in so long.
I don't know, maybe my mother is right and I should grow up and stop being passionate about things, acting my age and not doing crazy things for the stuff I love. But I can't do that, it'd end with me. I have arrived to the conclusion the principal source of problem are my own demons, and not the people, at least in some fandoms. I think I should be away of the stuff that hurts me and stop giving importance to things that don't deserve it.
Lately I've been thinking I need a rebirth. I hope I can do that some day (![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
snowgrouse, send me the Master).
PS: I am talking in general. I repeat, IN GENERAL. If any of you feel affronted by any of this, please talk to me face to face and we'll sort our problems.
PS2: If you didn't notice, I opened my heart here. Treat carefully, I won't tolerate harsh comments.
Today I was going to post only the next entry of the music meme, but I've been having these thoughts nagging me for ages and I've decided to write about it here, because two reasons: a) people isn't as harsh as it can be on Tumblr and b) I prefer the format and the less potential number of readers.
Therefore, I am going to talk about fandom. After months of thought, I've arrived to the conclusion that fandom life both fills and sucks your life out of you. Is this good? Probably not. Do we care? Absolutely not. Should we care? It depends on the case.
I've heard lots of times people saying 'fandom saved my life' and it has always slightly surprised me. Could a fandom, a passion you share with people, save your life? It seems so, if we listen to these people. In my case, I've learned I can live without fandom, but not without a passion. Living without things that passionate me, that would be impossible. I even think I might die if that was the case.
However, I think fandom can be replaced, even if it depends on the kind of person you are. In my case, I've lived without fandom all my life and I have been very happy, although I admit I've had my moments of needing someone to share my passions with, and whenever I found that person, it was simply magnificient.
When I entered the fandom life, around 2012, I considered it one of the best things of my life. Meeting people who shared my same interests, talking with people of all across the world, making new friendships, feeling completely part of something. Nevertheless, nowadays I'm starting to dislike all my fandoms. Don't get me wrong, I still love my passions with all my heart, but I've been feeling detached of the fandom life lately.
The question is, why? I've been searching all my life for people who would understand me, and now that I've found them, I just want to isolate myself from them.
Well, the answer is: fandom can be a very cruel and tough world, as you can see everyday on Tumblr or Twitter. It's a world full of wanks, ship wars, cliques and closed minded people. How can that be if us, the people who are fans of something in a passionate way (nearly obsessive sometimes), usually tend to be people who are social introverts and unconventional, at least in some ways? Why members of a fandom start throwing daggers at each other?
Honestly, I can't understand the reason, but this is one of the main reasons I'm not into the Sherlock or Doctor Who fandom anymore. You can find people there who are a real treasure, with whom you can share your opinions in a totally relaxed way, but also beasts whose brain is a one-way road. And I can't stand that. I've made whovian friends on Twitter I don't even talk anymore about Doctor Who with them because they're so focused in their opinions until a point it becomes painful to me. I consider myself a very neutral and open minded person, who can stand everyone's point and be respectful about that, but I can't stand if they make hurtful comments on something I love: you can not believe in Doctor/Master, but don't treat me as I am verging on madness for thinking the Master is the first love of the Doctor because you're hurting me that way.
Another fandom whom I have trouble with, even if they don't hurt me in such a deep way (really, people, don't joke with Doctor/Master when you're with me), is the Muse fandom (now is when all my friends here unfriend me, isn't it?). Really, people there is so closed minded! I've seen people on Twitter dismissing other Muse fans for liking certain songs and not others, and I've been receiving hurtful comments (even if I doubt the people who said them thought they were hurting me on purpose, just expressing their surprise) about my condition as a Muse fan ('why don't you like this song', 'why they aren't your favourite band', etc.). No, people, I don't consider myself a muser (here I should explain my name's theory but it's too long) and they aren't my favourite band and I don't know every detail of their life and miracles. They're just another band, very good and very important for me (I owe them lot of things, as friendships and inspiration writing-wise), but just another band I listen to. Everyone is different, don't ever forget that, and I am not less of you for not having one to 100000 concerts or starting listening to them in June.
A good deal of times I've been thinking of quiting, stop following musers on Twitter and leaving Muse Slash because I've suffered real mental pain since I'm in this dandom. Most of it it's all my fault, me fighting against my own demons and facing aspects of myself I haven't encountered in so long.
I don't know, maybe my mother is right and I should grow up and stop being passionate about things, acting my age and not doing crazy things for the stuff I love. But I can't do that, it'd end with me. I have arrived to the conclusion the principal source of problem are my own demons, and not the people, at least in some fandoms. I think I should be away of the stuff that hurts me and stop giving importance to things that don't deserve it.
Lately I've been thinking I need a rebirth. I hope I can do that some day (
snowgrouse, send me the Master).PS: I am talking in general. I repeat, IN GENERAL. If any of you feel affronted by any of this, please talk to me face to face and we'll sort our problems.
PS2: If you didn't notice, I opened my heart here. Treat carefully, I won't tolerate harsh comments.
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no subject
Date: 2014-03-07 09:37 pm (UTC)I've tried to make friends in all the fandoms I've been involved with, but I have never had much success, due to my shy nature and not knowing how to interact with people on the Internet (I still don't know how, but I think I've got a bit better at that, at least people don't seem to notice how awkward I get when I talk to Internet strangers). Muse fandom has been for me like a big black hole (and please excuse my bad metaphor) that has sucked me in in such little time I got lost without even realising. This has been my first big music fandom in so many years, as I spent my teens focused on Italian music and paying attention to musicians that were only known there. It's been a huge jump, from just dealing with a one country fanbase to... worldwide people, and I'm still adjusting to that. From my experience, I can say most of music fandoms have rude people and internal fights but, the bigger the worst, and this is clearly the Muse fandom problem. It seems almost as some fans believe that, just because they're in such a big fanbase, have the right to do anything and that isn't right.
Usually, I've never had problems with 'getting lost on the crowd', especially when I abandonned my teens (and yes, I'm aware many people still think my age it could be considered as a 'teen age'). I started having a few of those issues upon entering this fandom, probably because I sought acceptation, which is always a bad bad thing to do (changing who you are, I mean). I haven't pretended to be another person, but I've detected in myself certain attitudes that in normal conditions I wouldn't have. And I'm fed up with that, I'm so fed up with pretending or covering some aspects of myself with masks. Again, I have barely done that, but I have showed certain attitudes I dislike and a me that isn't really me. And I won't put up with my shit anymore.
To sum up, most of my problems with this fandom are personal problems that little have to do with the people or the fandom itself. I've been well received here and thinking otherwise just proves me how much my mind has been fucked up these last months.
Thanks again for your words, Shay! I hope you're doing well.